Before and After: Turn 50 Years Older in Five Seconds
Drag the slider. Same person, same street, five seconds apart — the time it takes to pull the mask on. Three faces, $19.99 each, all three for $44.99.
Mustache — the distinguished one
Drag to compare. Grey handlebar, red nose, zero chill.
Smoker — the grumpy one
Drag to compare. The one from the stoplight video. Cigarette included in the print.
Toothless Smile — the happy one
Drag to compare. Scruffy beard, a few teeth short, thrilled to be here.
Pick My Face — $19.99 → Take All Three — $44.99 →Pick the face on the next page · Free U.S. shipping · 30-day money-back
Why the "after" works
Costume masks hide everything, so a brain files them under "mask" and moves on. This one has a regular open ski-mask eye slot — nothing in front of your eyes — so a stranger sees a wrinkled old face with your eyes looking out of it. That's the double take. And because the face is printed into a thin windproof stretch knit, it's a real balaclava underneath: helmets, goggles and sunglasses go over it, it pulls down to a gaiter, it washes cold.
Before you order
One stretch size. Pulls on over most heads; snug rather than loose on a very big one. Novelty outdoor mask, not protective equipment — the view is what it is in any ski mask; some people tug the slot down the first time. Not for anywhere face coverings aren't allowed. The Smoker has a cigarette in the print; for a kid or a workplace pick Mustache or Toothless Smile.
Afters, reported
The whole lift line lost it. Wore the Mustache on the chairlift and the whole lift line lost it. Genuinely warm too — my face was the only one not frozen at the top. Bought the three-pack for my brothers before I'd taken it off.
Garrett P. — Mustache · SkierGreat mask, sits a touch high until you tug it. Print is sharper than I expected and it fits under my helmet and goggles. The eye opening sits a touch high on me until I tug it down, then you forget it's there. Strangers waved all day.
Hollis K. — Toothless Smile · SnowboarderBest $45 I've spent on Christmas. Got the three-pack for my husband and his two brothers. They opened them at the same time and the photo of the three grandpas is now the family group-chat icon.
Lena S. — Three-pack · Gift for the brothersReviews reflect individual customer experiences. Individual results vary.
Winter batch. When the three faces sell out, they're gone until next season. In stock while you're reading this means it ships.
Fifty years older. $19.99.
One — $19.99 (reg. $49.99) · Mustache, Smoker or Toothless Smile.
All three — $44.99 ★ MOST POPULAR ★ One of each · save $14.98 · the third face for $5.01.
FREE U.S. shipping · 30-day money-back if it doesn't get a laugh · Ships from the U.S.
Pick My Face →Real windproof balaclava · One stretch size · Wash cold, air dry
Quick questions
Is it actually warm?
Yes. Underneath the print it's a real outdoor balaclava — windproof, warm and breathable, the same job as the plain black one.
Can I see out of it?
Yes — a regular open eye slot, not a lens or a mesh. Goggles and sunglasses go over the top.
Shipping and returns?
Ships from our U.S. warehouse, free U.S. shipping, tracking by email. 30 days from delivery to send it back for a refund of the purchase price.
Winter batch · Free U.S. shipping · 30-day money-back