3 Reasons Not to Buy the Funny Ski Mask.
Read these before you order. If one of them is you, skip it — we’d rather you didn’t have to send it back. If none of them is, the second half of this page is why people buy three.
1It comes in one size, and that size is snug on a big head.
It’s a stretch knit that pulls on over most adult and teen heads and snugs down to fit. On a very big head it’s snug rather than loose. There is no size chart and no XL, because there is one size.
Skip it if: you need a technical fit in sizes, or a loose, roomy hood.
2You will be noticed. Every time.
Your own eyes look out of an 80-year-old’s face. The driver in the next lane will film you. The lift line will lose it. The gas-station attendant will need a minute. That is the whole point of the mask, and for some people it’s the worst part.
Skip it if: you want a balaclava that disappears. Buy the plain black one; it’s $12 and nobody will look at you.
3It’s a novelty mask, and it’s honest about it.
Three faces, no custom version. The Smoker design has a cigarette in the print, so it’s the wrong one for a kid, a workplace or a grandmother. It’s not protective equipment, and it’s not for anywhere face coverings aren’t allowed.
Skip it if: you need safety gear, or you’re buying for somewhere with a face-covering rule.
Free U.S. shipping · 30-day money-back · Ships from the U.S.
If none of that is you, here’s why people buy it anyway
1It’s gear first.
Thin windproof stretch knit over the face and neck, the same job as the plain black balaclava. Warm, breathes, less fog than neoprene. The joke is printed on top of a real mask, not instead of one.
2It goes under the helmet.
The print is in the fabric, so it’s no thicker than a plain balaclava. Helmets, goggles and sunglasses go straight over the open eye slot. Beard beanies and latex masks can’t say that.
3The print holds up.
Printed into the knit, not stuck on. Stretches without cracking, washes cold, air-dries. Day fifty looks like day one.
4Two ways to wear it.
Hood up when it’s cold. Pulled down to a neck gaiter when the sun comes out or you park the bike.
5The math.
$19.99 a face, under every Secret Santa cap. All three for $44.99, which makes the third one $5.01 — one for the crew, two for the gifts, or rotate so nobody knows which grandpa shows up this week.
If you’re not in the three groups above, it’s a real balaclava for $19.99 that gets a laugh every single ride. Buy one if it’s for you. Buy three if there’s a crew or a gift exchange anywhere in your winter.
One or three?
| You order | You pay | Per face |
|---|---|---|
| One face | $19.99 | $19.99 |
| Two faces | $39.98 | $19.99 |
| All three (one of each) | $44.99 | $15.00 · third face $5.01 |
Mustache
Smoker
Toothless SmileTap a face and it arrives pre-selected · Choose “Get All 3” for the set
Get All 3 — $44.99 (save $14.98) → Just One — $19.99 →Free U.S. shipping · 30-day money-back · Ships from the U.S.
Still here? The price, plainly
One — $19.99 (reg. $49.99) · Mustache, Smoker or Toothless Smile.
All three — $44.99 ★ MOST POPULAR ★ One of each · save $14.98 · the third face for $5.01.
FREE U.S. shipping · 30-day money-back if it doesn’t get a laugh · Ships from the U.S.
Pick My Face →Winter batch — when the three faces sell out, they’re gone until next season · One stretch size · Wash cold, air dry
Quick questions
Can I return it if it’s too snug?
Yes. 30 days from delivery to send it back for a refund of the purchase price, laugh or no laugh.
Will the print crack or peel?
No. The face is printed into the fabric rather than stuck on, so it stretches with the mask. Wash cold and air-dry to keep it sharp.
Does it fog glasses or goggles?
The fabric breathes, so most people get far less fogging than with neoprene or fleece. Breathe out through the mask rather than up into the lens.
What size is it?
One stretch size for adults and teens. Pulls on over most heads; snug rather than loose on a very big one.
Shipping and returns?
Ships from our U.S. warehouse, free U.S. shipping, tracking by email. 30 days from delivery to send it back for a refund of the purchase price; damaged on arrival gets a no-questions replacement.
Straight talk: novelty outdoor mask, not protective equipment. Not for anywhere face coverings aren’t allowed.