Which Grandpa Are You? 7 Questions, Then We Pick Your Face.
Three faces, one of them is you. Thirty seconds, no email, and at the end you get your match — the distinguished one, the grumpy one or the happy one — at $19.99. Can't accept the verdict? All three are $44.99.
Mustachethe distinguished one
Smokerthe grumpy one
Toothless Smilethe happy one
7 questions · 30 seconds · no email
Question 1 of 7
What you're being matched to
Every face is the same mask underneath: a thin windproof stretch balaclava with an 80-year-old's face printed edge to edge into the fabric and a regular open eye slot, so your own eyes look out of a stranger's face. Helmets, goggles and sunglasses go over it. Pull it down and it's a neck gaiter. One stretch size.
Mustache — grey handlebar, red nose, zero chill. The chairlift favorite. Smoker — grey hair, a scowl, a cigarette in the print, a look that says he was riding before helmets had visors. Toothless Smile — scruffy beard, a few teeth short, thrilled to be here.
The price, whichever grandpa you are
One face — $19.99 (reg. $49.99) · Mustache, Smoker or Toothless Smile.
All three — $44.99 ★ MOST POPULAR ★ One of each · save $14.98 · the third face for $5.01.
FREE U.S. shipping · 30-day money-back if it doesn't get a laugh · Ships from the U.S.
Pick My Face →Real windproof balaclava · One stretch size · Wash cold, air dry
Quick questions
Is it actually warm?
Yes. Underneath the print it's a real outdoor balaclava — windproof, warm and breathable, the same job as the plain black one.
Can I see out of it?
Yes — it's a regular open eye slot, not a lens or a mesh. Your view is what it is in any ski mask; goggles and sunglasses go over the top.
What if the quiz is wrong?
Then you were a three-pack person all along. All three faces are $44.99 — $14.98 less than three singles.
Shipping and returns?
Ships from our U.S. warehouse, free U.S. shipping, tracking by email. 30 days from delivery to send it back for a refund of the purchase price.
Straight talk: novelty outdoor mask, not protective equipment. Not for anywhere face coverings aren't allowed. Sample reviews on the product page reflect individual experiences.